1 July – the deadline I set about 3 months ago
Today is the day when I would do my best to become a better person – leave behind the procrastinator, the person who broods over things that are not really within her control, the lazy couch potato
Would I make it?
Only time will tell
Lots have happened in the last 4-5 months…
Went home for a while, and had the best time with my family
Went to Hongkong for work, and met up with Dots and spent a couple of days … really really fun
Went to Vietnam for work, and had the 2nd best springrolls ever!
Spent quite a significantly a lot of time with friends ^^
And most importantly, sort out my thoughts when it comes to T&T
Yes yes…
I know it is kinda silly that I get so worked up over… two boys of whom I know nothing personally.
But then again, they are really the first idols/celebrities/artistes/whatever that I ever liked… Ever!
So maybe I just didn’t know how to deal with the complex feeling of like/love vs expectations vs disappointment
The whole thing started sometime around June, I think… right around the release of Koiuta single. Might have been earlier, I dunno. But I know for sure that I started noticing the discontented feelings in June.
It grew and grew, and I guess the whole solo single thing was just the final push
Anyway…
I just decided then that I needed to get away from it all. Almost complete cut-off from T&T…
Didn’t read any blogs, didn’t read any news…
Even when chatting to Nikki, it was kind of unspoken agreement not to talk about T&T related stuff…
The only thing though, is that that despite everything, week after week I found myself at Kinokuniya, picking up the regular dose of magazines, came home, put it together with other unopened Kinokuniya plastic bags, and somehow feel a bit happier
(I think I have magazine fetish)
Never feel like opening them to read though… same as the singles…
Got all versions of both (btw.. FOUR versions… really, avex??) but to this date, no idea what any of the songs sound like
Got Tobase and Denpajou files, and filed them neatly under “Radio” folder
I wasn’t sure why I continue to get all the stuff and everything, coz I really thought that was the end of me and my fangirl period… but somehow just can’t help it…
Maybe what people say is right… We need some routine in our lives – it helps keep us grounded somehow?
The funny thing about going cold-turkey was all the free time I suddenly have…
I mean, for the past few years, I spent almost all my time doing things that are related to T&T in some ways or other.. so having suddenly so much time at hand (after grumbling relentlessly for ages that I need more time) is quite interesting
I did got hooked for a couple of things during this period, as part of my find-diversions-from-T&T plan…
First was *ahem* two GV-stars from a company called Coatwest *lol*
Don’t ask how it all started, but basically, I got hooked on these 2 guys who reminded me very very much of T&T
(Btw… after knowing more about Coatwest… I kinda think it’s very similar to JE, except that while JE stars sell music and concert tickets and goods, the Coatwest stars sell DVDs ^^)
That lasted for almost a full month *lol*
After that, it was American Idol’s Adam Lambert
Happened to watch the Country week, and Adam’s Ring of Fire performance totally impressed me… (I know a lot of people think that that was his worst performance in the whole season, but I beg to differ!)
Anyway, I think he’s an awesome singer, and for whatever reason, I always think about Tsu whenever I saw his performances…
Then, one day about 4-5 weeks back, during a particularly bad time at work, I just decided to plug in my earphone and randomly play some music..
And the first song that came on was True Heart
Soooo nostalgic, when I heard it
I kinda think that was the day when I realised how much I miss T&T…
So after that, started to reminisce back to the good old days, before all this … this… thing
(I don’t even have a word to describe it….)
Anyhow
Since then, been kinda back into it since.. Didn’t want to rush into the whole thing again, just in case it was a false alarm or something… but 4 and a half weeks have passed, so I think it’s safe to say that I’m back in the game!
And now that I’m back, I just want to say that I still believe in T&T!
It’s one of the rare things in life where I truly think that the sum is greater than the 2 individual parts
Unfortunately, for whatever reasons, things seem to be going in the direction of the individual parts… Nothing I can really do about it, so I would just accept it for now, and just wait for the return for the unit.
I feel stronger than ever now that there would be a return.
If I’m proven wrong one day, then so be it. The day that they announce that there’s only going to be solo only, ever, would be the day I give up. But until then, I shall continue to wait~
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